The Return of the Mullet

My friend Jim emailed on a Sunday evening. He’d brought out the clippers for the dog then turned them on himself. The photo showed his sweet face and smile—and a buzz cut. This is the grown-up version of six-year-old Jim with the “do” he and his brothers probably sported every summer.

I began my haircutting career early in life. I was four years old when my parents stopped me from finishing a neighbor child’s hair. Freshman year of high school, a friend of mine and I swapped styling duties. We had fashionable short hair, bangs and sideburns. Then we let our hair grow out—for years. When I graduated from college, my stepmother paid for a cut and perm to put an end to my long split-ends hidden under a bandana.

I learned to cut bangs with nail scissors from one of the best, my mother. When I told my hairdresser, Lara, she laughed. Seems she thought I meant nail clippers. Now that would take skill. Since I can’t get in for a cut for the foreseeable future, COVID-19 requires a more serious tool: sewing scissors. When the pandemic started, I went online to order hair and texturizing shears (note: not pinking shears). The hair scissors were out of stock, but I received the texturizing ones. On my first foray I might’ve been a bit too aggressive, but it’ll grow in. I trim the hair surrounding my face and give a few swipes at the sides. The back is left to its own devices.

When this is over, and before the remediation of our hairstylists, I’ll be looking for you on the streets and we’ll salute our mullets. I’ll also be looking for those who have a bruised nose bridge, a badge of honor for countless hours spent wearing a mask.

Have you engaged in activities you used to pay others to do? How’d it go? Please comment in the box below.

Sending you appropriately physically distanced encouragement—and the hope you find the perfect YouTube video to guide your next project.